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Writer's pictureGarrett Wheeler

Esquire's 50 Best Songs of 2018: Each Reviewed with One Sentence



Here's a fun idea I had. At the end of November, magazine company Esquire released their 50 best songs of the year. Just ignore the fact that they have chosen their favorite songs before the end of the year for a moment. Will they make another list at the end of the year with completely different songs? Maybe. But, it's to late, I found this one! Anyways, I have never heard most of the songs on the list. So, I listened to every single one of these songs to determine what I thought of them, and whether or not they deserve to be on a list like this. I will review all of them in one sentence. Yes, I am a madman.



All of these songs will be rated on a scale from 1 to 10, and I will list top and bottom 5 songs from the Esquire list at the bottom of this article. This is almost entirely based on my first listens. Some of these might change in the future. This is just my initial reaction towards the songs. I also say "almost" because I have listened to a few of them before. And keep in mind, I will have very unpopular opinions towards some of these songs. This is my own personal opinion, and it should no way affect your personal opinion. And don't take what I say too seriously. This is me trying to have fun. I mean, how much can I cover with one sentence a piece? With that out of the way, let's begin!


Genre: Pop

Score: 5/10

I admire the sentiment, but the delivery is kind of boring.

















Genre: Indie Rock

Score: 7/10

If you want some soothing indie rock, then this is for you.


Genre: Art Pop

Score: 7/10

The hook didn't do much for me, but the production more than makes up for it.


Genre: Trap

Score: 5/10

The beat is cool, but I am not a fan of the way he raps.


Genre: Trap

Score: 3/10

You wasted such a beautiful piano sample on this?


Genre: Hip-Hop

Score: 8/10

It says a lot in such a short run time.


Genre: Trap

Score: 4/10

The first half is terrible, but the second half is actually not that bad, so I don't know what to believe.

















Genre: Folk Rock

Score: 9/10

It's a fantastic song from a fantastic movie.


Genre: Psychedelic Pop

Score: 6/10

It sounds very pretty, but did it need to be almost 10 minutes long?


Genre: Pop

Score: 8/10

It's beautiful AND it bops!


Genre: Trap

Score: 3/10

I'd rather just listen to "Rocket Man."


Genre: Alternative

Score: 7/10

It'll probably take a few more listens for it to fully grab me, but this is still a very pretty piano ballad.


Genre: Electronic

Score: 8/10

This song makes me want to dance.


Genre: Alternative

Score: 9/10

Easily one of the most gorgeous and captivating songs I've heard all year.


Genre: Pop

Score: 7/10

This isn't the kind of pop music I normally like to listen to, but I must say, this was very nice.


Genre: Experimental Soul

Score: 6/10

It has a really cool sound palette, but there could have been a better and more explosive payoff.


Genre: Pop

Score: 4/10

I found this beat obnoxious and this song nowhere near as charming as "Honey."


Genre: R&B

Score: 6/10

I like the vibe and the message, but it never reaches anything beyond that.


Genre: Pop Rock

Score: 7/10

The repetitive vocal passage is the only downside to this otherwise great song.











Genre: R&B

Score: 6/10

The production is nice, but the vocals don't do much for me.


Genre: Trap

Score: 7/10

With a name like "Apeshit," I expected nothing less than a banger, and that's exactly what I got.


Genre: R&B

Score: 5/10

This is not the kind of R&B I normally like to listen to, but I see the appeal.


Genre: Pop

Score: 5/10

The production is great, but I cannot stand her singing voice.


Genre: Pop

Score: 2/10

Am I the only person that finds this completely obnoxious?


Genre: Hip Hop

Score: 7/10

The storytelling is the biggest star of this track.


Genre: Hip Hop

Score: 7/10

I imagine Pusha T sent this song to Drake with a box of tissues and a bottle of Aloe Vera.


Genre: Trap

Score: 8/10

Music video aside, this song is a total freaking banger.











Genre: Hip Hop

Score: 5/10

I'm not entirely sure if Rocky knew where he was going with this one.


Genre: Alternative

Score: 9/10

Now THAT is how you build a soundscape to an explosive and grand finish!


Genre: Dream Pop

Score: 6/10

I feel like I would love this song if I were high.


Genre: Trap

Score: 3/10

The beat is the only thing tolerable about this song.


Genre: Pop Rap

Score: 3/10

I'm just not a fan of Drake.

















Genre: Indie Rock

Score: 4/10

*yawns*


Genre: Hip Hop

Score: 6/10

It's beautiful beat mostly makes up for its underwhelming Chance feature and abrupt ending.


Genre: Art Pop

Score: 8/10

I was not expecting this song to be as good as it was.


Genre: Indie Rock

Score: 7/10

What a nice little indie tune!


Genre: Indie Rock

Score: 9/10

Indie rock doesn't get much better than this.


Genre: R&B

Score: 9/10

A song so good, you forget it was made for an Apple commercial.


Genre: Soul

Score: 7/10

The soul is there, and the groove is great, but I wish it had more of an impact.


Genre: Country Pop Funk

Score: 6/10

The fusion of genres actually work pretty well here, even if the song is undeniably corny.


Genre: Pop

Score: 7/10

I think, and this is just a shot in the dark here, that this song was influenced by Prince.

















Genre: Alternative Rock

Score: 7/10

If you like really fun rock music, then I think you'll enjoy this one.


Genre: Trap

Score: 2/10

Everything about this is so awkward, it hurts.


Genre: Art Pop

Score: 9/10

In a Poem Unlimited is one of my favorite albums of the year, and this song is one of the biggest highlights.


Genre: Alternative

Score: 9/10

How have I never heard of this guy before until now?!?!


Genre: Hip Hop

Score: 5/10

Well... that was interesting.


Genre: Alternative Rock

Score: 8/10

The music itself is good, but the vocals truly make it stand out as a great tune.


Genre: Pop

Score: 6/10

As generic pop goes, this was pretty fun.


Genre: Trap

Score: 4/10

The production is absolutely fantastic... but Migos themselves are on the complete opposite spectrum.


Genre: R&B

Score: 7/10

It's the R&B version of Tyler, the Creator's Flower Boy, and it works like a charm.


TOP 5 BEST (in my opinion)

1. "Heaven's Only Wishful" by MorMor

2. "Lifetime" by Yves Tumor

3. "Rosebud" by U.S. Girls

4. "Til its Over" by Anderson .Paak

5. "Need a Little Time" by Courtney Barnett

HM: "Geyser" by Mitski; "Shallow" by Bradley Cooper & Lady Gaga


TOP 5 WORST (in my opinion)

1. "Immaterial" by SOPHIE (it's the only song on the list that actually gave me a physical headache)

2. "Lifestyle" by SOB x RBE

3. "High (ft. Elton John)" by Young Thug

4. "I Do (ft. SZA)" by Cardi B

5. "Bag Talk" by Joey Purp

HM: "Nice For What" by Drake; "Stargazing" by Travis Scott


My Top 20 songs of the year list is coming soon! Stay tuned!

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